I'm recording my first live album for Comedy Dynamics on Thursday, December 15th at 7 and 9 PM. The shows will be at The Black Cat at 1811 14th St. NW, Washington, DC. Click here for tickets, or on the image above. 

I'm a standup comedian and storyteller. Ideally, my stuff exists in the purple part of that particular Venn diagram, but what do I know - all of this is a long process. This is some of the stuff that makes me proud.

I was just trying to take the subway home and eat an entire container of Ben and Jerry's ice cream when my groceries spilled all over the train and I got in a screaming match with a really nice lady.

This story also appeared on The Moth's podcast and The Moth Radio Hour. 

I used to play the typewriter as a percussion instrument in an art-rock band. My friend Tim Gordon played guitar and bass simultaneously, and we backed two chickens that improvised on toy pianos.

I told this story at The Moth at Housing Works in New York City in September, 2014, and managed to win the story slam.

You can read a version of this on The Paris Review's blog, here. You can also be forgiven for hearing this story and thinking "was that band for real?" We were. Just to prove it, I'm embedding one of our songs below.

I was very suddenly diagnosed with testicular cancer in the spring of 2009 - although I got off without chemo and radiation, the post-cancer depression and PTSD were horrible. I felt so lonely, and people came up to me to say incredibly well-meaning but stupid and depressing things.

I also managed to win The Moth's GrandSLAM in New York City with this in March 2014. You can read a written version of this story on The Paris Review's blog, here.

I worked as an offsider (assistant) to a kangaroo shooter in the Australian Outback in early 2004. It was dirty, disgusting, blood-soaked work. At one point a giant lizard tried to eat my blood-soaked pants. It thought they were meat.

It was also one of the most beautiful experiences of my entire life.

This story appeared on The Moth's podcast in 2010.

I performed this story at the Moth GrandSlam at the Highline Ballroom in March, 2009. It later appeared on an episode of "This American Life" called "Pro Se," on July 10th, 2009.

I was bullied as a kid, and my dad taught me how to stand up for myself, until it went too far. I learned a lot that day, and I completely misapplied the lesson in an IMAX screening of "The Dark Knight Rises" nearly 20 years later.

I also won a Moth slam with this one.

Standup Tape

I did this set as part of Ashley Brooke Roberts' 'Caught On Tape' at The Creek and the Cave on May 9, 2014. This is a bit different than my regular storytelling stuff but I'm pretty into it.

I sincerely hope that this convinces you to book me for your club/festival/standup show - but does not dissuade you from hiring me for the sort of job that pays money, too.

If you're coming here via The Moth's podcast, or The Moth Radio Hour, boy am I ever glad you're here! The way that I spell my last name isn't very common, so I'm putting a list of the ways people might type it just to make sure Google pulls you in:

  • Jeff Simmerman
  • Jeff Zimmerman
  • Jeff Zimmermon
  • Jeff Simmerson
  • Jeff Simerson
  • Jeff Simerman
  • Jeff Zimerman
  • Jeff Zinerman